DREAMS....... my only way of escape

Why do we have to pay a very heavy price for dreaming? Is it such a big crime to dream? Does the 'd' in 'dream' stand for despair that follows every dream? I am broke; small wonder, as I am yet to meet someone who dreams more than I do. After all the tears and tantrums I still manage to go back to that unreal world of dreams that I created for myself. Why have I not realised that my million-hued dreams all end up with my hugging the pillow and pouring my soul out to it?( quite visibly in the form of two salty tracks on either side of my face). It is time I realised how unreal my dreams are; I should tell myself to wake up. Inspite of knowing all this I can't tell myself to do so because my dreams are the only way before me to escape the torment of the past and the boredom of the present. Flitting between the real and unreal realms all that remains of me is a broken heart and two very red eyes. Maybe the fault with me is not that I dream but that I hope that my dreams come true. I can't be me if I do not dream! Hope that I will come up with a solution for this intriguing problem in my very next dream!

Heaven on earth

Days pass by faster than the blink of an eyelid and each day is more and more futile bringing with it a sense of uncertainty and hopelessness. The only time I am at peace is when I climb those stairs leading to the terrace with an armload of books intending to get down to business. They are not moments of work but of contemplation. The cool, gentle breeze brushes away my tears in a way no friend of mine can. When I cry the sky covers me in a blanket of darkness so that nobody sees me in this shameful, feminine act of crying. Watching the birds fly homeward bound I feel an intense longing to break away from the chains that bind me and fly to freedom. You might miss that sorrow that I feel deep down, my helplessness and my desire to be loved, to be understood by someone, anyone, my loneliness, my craving for motherly care, fatherly protection, brotherly love and friendship…. I have a feeling that the closing night, the encasing air, the retreating birds and the rustling leaves know me better, they can understand what I feel, they soothe me in their own way….. you are my best friends…..
They don't scream at me, “ What the hell is wrong with you?” as others do, for they know….

Booms and depressions

There is always a sunrise after a sunset…. Same is the case with my life. Things often go horribly wrong and it often seems like life has lost its meaning and it is not worth living anymore or that the sun has set….. Things pass on, the troubles give way to better days…. Yes, sunny days are back again and I can feel its warmth touching my heart. A hearty peal of laughter sponges away the sea of tears that were shed…. Darkness gives way to light and Hope smiles and shines on me, the future looks promising and choices aplenty…. I don’t know if it is short lived optimism, but life has taken a turn for the good…. It often does, it is only that we take time in realizing it, lost in the happiness that often keeps us busy…. Yes, life goes on and the clock never stops ticking. If only we could time ourselves in that same way, not to waste a single moment of that lone hour granted to us…. Life is uncertain, but time is. If only we could steer our lives properly in that current of time, our lives would become meaningful. All these point to something; living with a purpose, a goal… When that goal becomes clear life becomes meaningful; when it is lost in the heap of things life throws in our way, days look bleak…
Focus,that is what I need……

The Quest For a Better Soil

There is said to be a land, a land which can be reached only if you cross seven seas and thirteen mountains. What is so special about this magical land, i muse..... Maybe, maybe, it might just be another fantasy, an unattainable goal, an unreachable land, a dream destination which holds promises of wealth and wonders; quite like the magical East. I wonder, can't this land be the very place from where you started your voyage? And has it not become the dream destination that spurred you into leaving it, in the first instance? That craving to be back home makes the sight of your homesoil more welcome than that of an untouched goldmine. The sights you saw, the experiences you had in other places made you crave for your home, only with greater intensity. Now you see your country for what it really is; you crave to smell that fragrance of the moist soil, nauseated by the murky smell of the cities. You love your people for they are not robbed of that innocence that still shines in their eyes when they smile..... You love your land, it has become far more precious than all the riches in the world. Finally, you realise that this is the very same land you dreamt of reaching. It has not changed, what has changed is your perspective, your outlook and that makes all the difference in the world............

the first ray of light

this is my first attempt at creating a blog. i dont know how well this idea is going to fire (or backfire). my views in reflections maybe confusing or even self contradictory for it is just an outlet for the many random thoughts that are impersonal( maybe slightly personal) and yet manage to plague my mind. it is just an attempt by an adolescent to understand the matters of the world which often stand against the few scruples that education had given her.
i hope that reflections may in its very small extent rid atleast a portion of the darkness that has blindfolded our world. it is born out of my belief in the saying that
It is better to light a candle
Than to curse the darkness......